We have these friends, Brandon and Christy, who are extraordinary question-askers. They are the kind of people who ask questions that make those around them feel known. It’s such a gift. I’m not even sure they’re aware that they’re doing anything different – they’re genuinely curious and they truly care about their friends and family – but it really shows through the questions they choose to ask. Again and again we have felt so cared for by them because they ask good questions and they listen well.
I aspire to ask questions like these friends of ours. I want to learn how to ask the questions that dig a little deeper, rather than taking the easy way out and simply asking “how’s it going?” I always hesitate when asked that question – how much do you really want to know? What sort of answer are you looking for? Do I spill my guts and tell you how utterly overwhelmed I am? You probably weren’t looking for that, so do I just say that I’m fine? Is there some better way to answer that question?
I’ve been having all these thoughts rolling around my head lately and I happened upon this article over on Donald Miller’s Storyline blog. I love this quote from Melton’s article:
We learned that if we really want to know our people, if we really care to know them – we need to ask them better questions and then really listen to their answers.
We need to ask questions that carry along with them this message: “I’m not just checking the box here. I really care what you have to say and how you feel. I really want to know you.”
Isn’t that what we all crave? To be known? Not just to have people that know our favorite foods and our birthday, but to have people that know our dreams and our fears. It’s such a treasure if you have people that ask you those questions. But why not also be the person that asks those questions?
Instead of simply waiting for someone to enter into our world and ask us those questions – why don’t we put ourselves out there and ask someone else the difficult, potentially awkward questions. It’s in that space that growth happens. The process of knowing one another and truly being known can feel so extraordinarily uncomfortable. But the reward of deeper relationships far outweighs any potential awkwardness along the way.
Confession time – I’ve been holding out on you guys. This is one of my absolute favorite recipes. One fateful day in college my roommate Anna returned from a quick trip home and brought with her the most incredible loaf of chocolate chip banana bread. We sat on our little futon in our room, hunched over the foil wrapper of heavenly crumbs. I’d never had banana bread with chocolate chips in it before and I’m pretty sure I ate half the loaf with no shame at all. I vowed then to learn how to make banana bread that was at least half as delicious – I like to think this one has turned out pretty great.
This banana bread doesn’t look like much, but don’t let that fool you. It’s so so good. I’ve been making it since college and it always gets good reviews. You can always add walnuts or pecans as well – I recommend 1/2 c nuts and reducing your chocolate chips to 1/2 c as well if you go that route! And if you find you’ve always got bananas on-hand, you can put the extra brown ones in the freezer to use in this recipe later. Peel the bananas and place them in a freezer-safe bag before putting them in the freezer. Thaw them before using and then use the same way you would use fresh bananas. Fair warning – they’ll look totally gross once thawed, but they’ll taste just as good once you bake them into the bread!
This bread is best eaten while it’s still warm from the oven or the next day. Be sure to wrap the loaf of banana bread tightly with plastic wrap – this keeps the bread moist and delicious. I like to think it also locks the flavor in as it gets better a day or two after you bake it. This is a great breakfast treat, dessert, or any-time kind of snack. It’s especially good for those late-night-I’m-avoiding-studying-baking-sessions in college. I speak from experience. Enjoy.
Banana Chocolate Chip Bread
Ingredients
- 1 1/4 c all purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp fine salt
- 2 large eggs
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1/2 c unsalted butter at room temperature
- 1 c sugar
- 2 very ripe bananas peeled and mashed
- 1 c chocolate chips
Instructions
- Mix flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl and set aside.
- In a small measuring cup with a spout, whisk eggs and vanilla together.
- Grease and flour a 9x5x3 inch bread loaf pan and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
- Using an electric hand mixer (or a stand mixer with a paddle attachment) cream butter and sugar together till light and fluffy. Slowly add the egg and vanilla mixture, mixing till combined. To save on dishes, use the same measuring cup to mash the two bananas with a fork. Add the bananas to your mixture, combine well. At this point the mixture will look a bit lumpy and curdled - that's okay!
- Remove the bowl from the mixer and use a rubber spatula to add the flour mixture and stir until just combined. Fold in the chocolate chips and pour batter into floured pan.
- Bake for 50-55 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool the bread for 5-10 minutes before removing it from the pan. Let cool completely (if you can resist) and then wrap bread tightly in plastic wrap to store (this is VERY important to keep the banana bread moist and delicious.)
