I finished reading Daring Greatly by Brené Brown the other week and can’t stop thinking about it. She has started a beautiful and extraordinarily important conversation about shame and vulnerability.

As a shame researcher, she provides a framework, the words, and the definitions to talk about shame and vulnerability. Those don’t sound like fun things to read about, but the way she writes keeps you absolutely captivated with stories woven into each chapter – sometimes it feels like she plucked them right out of your own life. Brown addresses everything from gender shaming to shame in the classroom to using (and preferably not using) shame as a parenting tool to the feelings of shame and the fear of “being wrong” that hinders innovation and creativity.

I flipped through her book a few times trying to find a quote suitable to share here. I’ve scribbled and underlined and circled and asterisked (is that a word?) all through her book, and one part I keep coming back to is in her chapter titled “Understanding and Combating Shame.” She defines “shame tapes” as “the messages of self-doubt and self-criticism that we carry around in our heads,” and she gives the metaphor of a gremlin as the tricky little liar that tries to fill our heads with that nonsense.

“Understanding our shame tapes or gremlins is critical to overcoming shame because we can’t always point to a certain moment or a specific put-down at the hands of another person. Sometimes shame is the result of us playing the old recordings that were programmed when we were children or simply absorbed from the culture…Sometimes when we dare to walk into the arena the greatest critic we face is ourselves.“

Now, when Tim and I are facing a difficult decision, combating self-doubt, or just having a crummy day, we’ll ask one another, “What are the gremlins saying?” It has been an incredibly helpful framework for us to put words to the things that are discouraging us, the lies we’re listening to, and the doubt that we’re facing. We’re still learning how to take a step back from all of that and listen to the words of peace and encouragement and direction that the Lord whispers to us instead.

I hope you’ll go pick up a copy of Daring Greatly – and when you do, come back and let me know what you think of it!

We made this lemonade for the first time after going blueberry picking this summer. It’s ridiculously delicious. I’ve made it with both fresh blueberries and frozen ones, and with and without mint – use what you’ve got on hand! Even though blueberry season is long gone, you can still enjoy a little taste of summer by using frozen berries! I hardly feel like summer has begun, and somehow we’re already talking of fall. What. When did that happen? (Um. Also. Some of our friends have already gotten snow. Let’s not even go there.) Don’t get me wrong, I love wearing boots and sweaters and scarves just as much as the next girl, but right now I’m still craving sun-kissed skin and ocean waves and lemonade. At least I’ve got one of the three right now.

And soon to be two of the three. Tim and I are headed to Martha’s Vineyard this weekend to photograph and film his cousin’s wedding day! Family, the ocean, a ferry ride, the salty breeze. We could not be more stoked. I’m trying to contain my excitement and refrain from using too many exclamation points. (!!!)

That’ll kick off our grand road trip the next few weeks shooting weddings – we’ll be traveling from NC through New York City on to Martha’s Vineyard, out to visit friends in Massachusetts, camping near Niagara Falls, onward to see friends who just started working at Taylor University, and then up to Chicago where we have two weddings the following two weekends. If any of ya’ll are along the way and want to grab lunch/coffee/dinner/schedule a photo session/provide a place for us to stay (wink wink, nudge nudge) – let us know!! Also. If you have suggestions for budget friendly things we should do/see/eat along the way, send them our way!

Blueberry Lemonade

Adapted from Kitchen Treaty

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Ingredients

  

• 3/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice about 6 medium lemons
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
• 1 cup hot water
• 3 cups cold water
• Handful of mint leaves optional

Instructions

 

• Combine fresh squeezed lemon juice, sugar, blueberries, and hot water in a blender. Blend until sugar has dissolved and berries are pureed.
• Pour into a large pitcher, using a small sieve to remove the pulp. Add cold water, tear mint leaves and add, stir to combine, and chill in the fridge for an hour or so before serving.
• Serve over ice. Use a small sieve to strain the mint leaves out at this point if you don't want them in your drink.